Back in 2017, I reviewed Disinformation’s Book of Lies. Boyd Rice’s essay about the Book of Enoch, the Merovingian Dynasty and sea monsters turned out to be one of the most interesting parts of the book. That essay was originally published in an edition of Dagobert’s Revenge, a magazine about the Holy Grail, Merovingian kings and Priory of Sion stuff, that ran from 1996 until 2003. I gathered that it covered the more far out elements of that conspiracy, and I wanted to dig deeper, but at this stage it’s impossible to track down a complete run at a reasonable price. Tracy R. Twyman, the editor of Dagobert’s Revenge, published a book about the Merovingians the year after the final edition of her magazine came out, so I thought that would be the best place to get her version of the Holy Grail story.

It’s been a while since I’ve read any Holy Grail stuff. Just to remind you, some authors believe that the Holy Grail was a cup, some believe it was a rock from the crown of Satan, and some believe it was the bloodline of Jesus Christ. Twyman believes it was all of these things at once. I’ve read some pretty far-out stuff recently, but this book really surprised me with how far it pushes the subversion of accepted beliefs and ideas. This isn’t just round the bend stuff, it’s topsy-turvy silly-season over here.

First of all, we have to accept that the traditional Biblical narrative is muddled. This doesn’t sound too ridiculous, and I’m sure some Bible scholars would agree that certain Old Testament characters are actually the same people, and that the chronology is confused. Wait and see where Twyman takes this though.

In reality, Satan and Jehovah were actually rival Kings from the island of Atlantis. Cain was actually the son of Satan, not Adam. Enoch, the son of Cain was actually Cain and Noah. Jehovah tried to kill everyone because they had learned too much from Satan. (He had been teaching them light language through the Tower of Babel which was actually a quantum crystal computer.) Jesus Christ was indeed a descendant of Abraham, but Abraham was actually of the line of Cain, the son of Satan. Yes, Jesus Christ was actually a direct descendant of Satan. (One of his ancestors had also hooked up with a Jehovite, but I won’t get into that now. It involves the Nephilim, the race of mutant giants who were excised from more recent versions of the Old Testament.)

So Jesus was actually a descendant of Satan, and he was also the leader of a Satanic sex magic cult. Mary Magdalene was his scarlet woman, and they had Judas (or possibly Jesus’s twin brother) crucified in his place so that he could continue to perform Satanic sex magic rituals.

Jesus’s Satanism here isn’t really sinister in any way. He’s still the good guy, but somewhere along the way the church made Satan out to be the bad guy. This is one of the main ideas of Gnosticism. The Gnostics play their part in this story of course. The Cathars knew the truth and this is what led to their downfall, but they were able to pass on their secrets and the Grail before their defeat.

Anyways, Jesus had kids who had kids and eventually his ancestors became kings in France, the Merovingians. The Merovingians were a line of French kings who were traditionally said to have been descendants of a sea creature. This is technically true as they are descended from Satan who lived in Atlantis. The Merovingians were supposedly wiped out after King Dagobert was shot through the eye with an arrow, but this was just a cover up.

From this point in the story, Twyman follows the Holy Blood, Holy Grail narrative. I don’t know if you’ve read that book, but I have, and I can confirm that it’s utter bollocks. It’s based on a confirmed hoax. At one point Twyman describes how she contacted one of the authors of that book only to have him immediately disregard her ideas because they were so crazy. If one of those lads takes that stance on your work, you must be onto something special.

As entertaining as a Satanic sex-magic Jesus is, there’s nothing remotely convincing in this book. The narrative is based on a series of ridiculous conditionals, each one more bizarre than the last. At several points in the book, elves are mentioned. (Stories of elves may have originated from the mutant offspring of Atlantean “angels” and mud-blood humans.) I was actually quite surprised that Twyman never linked her Kings from the Sea stuff with Temple’s Sirius aliens.

Yes, this book was really stupid, but it was entertaining in its own crazy way. I’ve been recommended Tywman’s novel Genuflect, but I get the sense that it gets into that Pizzagate child abuse stuff, so I don’t think I’ll bother. Twyman died recently, and there seems to be some speculation online that she got too close to the truth and was murdered. I have no doubt that researching the stuff she did brought her into contact with some real sickos. This book was trash, but it’s a shame that Twyman died so young. It is quite likely I will look at more of her other non-fiction books in the future.