In 2011, the good people at Martinet Press were supposedly sent photos of a manuscript from some weirdo in Iraq. This lad had gotten his hands on a bizarre text titled The Devil’s Quran. The folks at Martinet got somebody to translate the text from Arabic, but when the translator was done, he was so horrified at the book’s contents that he beseeched Martinet not to publish the text. Obviously, they ignored his advice.
The first few pages are from the original Quran, but then shit gets weird. The book published by Martinet contains 10 Satanic suras (chapters).
Here’s a quick recap of each of the Satanic suras.
Sura 1.
This brief sura identifies Satan as the Master of the Throne of Fire and the first of all predators. It’s basically a Satanic mirror image of the first sura in the real Koran.
Sura 2.
Shaitan addresses the readers warning them to avoid the “blind one”. The blind one is Allah or Yahweh. Satan congratulates the Romans for executing Christ but then chastises them for later adopting his teachings
Sura 3.
Describes process of creation, the coming together of order and chaos. Satan claims that the forces of darkness and chaos must destroy all prophets of light. He claims to have destroyed Mohammad and orders the defilement of any sanctuary of light.
Sura 4.
Describes how Shaitan gave witchcraft to humans. Explains that a witch should have sex with anjmals in homage to satan and also piss on the books of the blind one. There’s some interesting suggestions on self mutilation. There’s another bit in here that suggests creating an image of god and then rolling it around in shit and burying it in a cesspit.
Sura 5.
Basically instructions on how to call up a succubus and the offerings to give to her. Also includes a bit on different astral demons that you can invoke.
Sura 6.
Describes afterlife for followers of Satan – lots of sex and weapons. Editor notes it’s more similar to Valhalla than Muslim heaven
Sura 7.
Basically instructions on how to serve Shaitan.
The enemy says, “the best of you us he that dies for Allah”
But your Lord says, “The best of you is he that kills in my name.”
Explains how to invite demonic spirits to possess your body
Followers of Shaitan are encouraged to steal from Muslims and to burn down their homes to be rewarded in the afterlife.
Sura 8.
Satan and God fight for the souls of many worlds. Mohammad had 12 wives but only allowed 4 for other men and none for Shaitan. Also, he had a 9 year old wife when he was a greybeard of 50. While it is claimed that Jesus was a virgin, it turns out he actually shagged many young boys.
“And he said, “make the little children come unto me”, and his disciples grew hot with shame.”
Apparently the Romans actually murdered Christ because he was a “bent pervert.”
Satanists are encouraged to deliberately cause conflict between Muslims and Christians.
Sura 9.
Satanists are encouraged to build shrines to demonic entities. A brief prophecy on Satan’s taking of the Earth is outlined.
Sura 10.
A brief pledge of devotion to the King of Night.
These suras are followed by 2 brief invocations of the Devil and instructions on how to wash yourself, pray to Shaitan and how to sacrifice living creatures for the Devil. The best piece of advice given is to anoint your own forehead with bodily fluid every time you use the bathroom.
It is unclear as to whether the original text contains the regular 114 suras on top of the 10 dodgy ones. Martinet’s book does not contain images of the original text, and it seems highly unlikely that it even exists. This book is almost definitely a ridiculous hoax. Compare the origin story of this book to that of the Owlswick Necronomicon. It’s almost identical. Honestly, The Devil’s Quran was quite disappointing. It definitely had entertaining elements, but the cover is so shockingly uninspired that it ruins the whole experience. If you’re going to write an edgy hoax that’s potentially going to offend a whole bunch of people, you need to go all in. The only acceptable cover for this book would have been a mean looking genie coming out of a lamp with a pentagram on it.
Nocturnal Revelries 