JFK and Marilyn Monroe dropped Acid with an Alien in Area 51 – George Piccard’s Liquid Conspiracy: JFK, LSD, the CIA, Area 51 & UFOs

Adventures Unlimited Press – 1999

Liquid Conspiracy: JFK, LSD, the CIA, Area 51 & UFOs – George Piccard

I bought this based on its title a few weeks ago. It turned out to be exactly what I expected it to be, an attempt to tie every conspiracy theory together. I think that lots of conspiracy theories have roots in real conspiracies, but ascribing responsibility for every shady cover-up to one group is ridiculous. It’s much easier for me to believe that the world is riddled with shady organisations who are competing for power than to believe that there is one shady organisation running the whole show.

Piccard’s main idea is that there’s a group of elites who are running the “liquid conspiracy”. It’s called the “liquid conspiracy” because like liquid, it is constantly changing shape. By constantly changing their plans, this group is able to conceal their identities and goals. This is a stupid idea that makes the author seem like an idiot. Here’s a chapter by chapter breakdown:

Intro
Kilder, a clerk at GCHQ (Government Communications Headquarters), had access to top level security files. He also had a photographic memory, so he remembered everything. There is a secret group controlling the world.  He spent years trying to get this info out after JFK got killed, but nobody listened. When he was dying of cancer, the UN sent a Black Ops division to kill him, so he got into email contact with Piccard. Piccard swore to hold off on publishing the information until Kilder was dead. This is pretty funny as it’s very similar to the framing narrative of the Report from Iron Mountain, a work of satire that has profoundly influenced most conspiracy theories since the late 60s. An informant who worked for a top secret division of the government contacts a journalist with classified information before disappearing. The fact that Leonard C. Lewin, the recipient of the Iron Mountain document, was a satirist seems to have gone over many of his readers’ heads. I haven’t been able to find any information Mr. Piccard online. He wrote this piece of crap and later contributed to another book on the Holy Lance. It seems odd that anyone would have sought him out to present him with the top secret information that is revealed in this book.

Chapter 1.
The Knights Templar discovered that the real Jesus hated the god of the Old Testament and thought he was the devil. They set out to find the original gospels but were suppressed by the church for fear of a power struggle.
A group, suspiciously referred to as “the Elders” a group of Rothschilds and Freemasons, started the Illuminati to take over the world with poisonous democracy. They killed Abe Lincoln. There’s a few curious mentions of an Illuminati document called “New Testament of Satan” by Weishaupt. I should track this down.
World War 2 was essentially a front for a battle between the remaining Templars (the Knights of Malta) and the “Elders”, but everythjng got a bit mixed up and some of the parties involved were infiltrated by both groups.
It was at that point that I realised that Piccard wasn’t overly concerned with cohesion. What he’s saying doesn’t make sense, so he basically accuses the Nazis of being on both sides of his secret war. Also, Hitler may have escaped into the Hollow Earth. Piccard ends the chapter by suggesting that the Elders, the Templars and the grey aliens finally ended their rivalry and came together to come up with a plan for world domination.

Chapter 2.
The Nazis had access to extraterrestrial technology. It is unclear as how they got it. Either they found a UFO or the secrets of Vril and implosive (divine) energy had been passed through countless generations of Thuleans. They built and used several flying saucers.

Chapter 3.
The real reason that Nazi scientists were brought to America was because America was being run by the “Elders” who wanted to control the German’s knowledge of Vril. It is likely that many Nazis avoided having to go to America by either going to South America or into the Hollow Earth through a tunnel in Antarctica.
Towards the end of WW2, Allen Dulles, head of the CIA made a deal with Hitler promising to absorb remaining Nazi officers into the US intelligence community. Dulles of course was not really a Nazi. He was working for the “Elders”.

Chapter 4.
Short chapter. Author quotes from The Protocals of the Elders, but doesn’t mention Zion. He’s essentially confirming that the Elders he’s been speaking about are the same “elders” we’ve suspected all along. The Illuminati use mind control. Nazis and Stalin were obstacles to the Illuminati. I’m not sure who the bad guys are supposed to be.

Chapter 5.
The US Government may have been doing LSD experiments for longer than admitted. It’s pretty well known now that CIA did do LSD experiments, so this doesn’t seem like much of a stretch. It is again suggested that Allan Dulles, the head of the CIA may have collaborated with Nazis.

Chapter 6.
This chapter is on MKULTRA and other CIA mind control experiments. It’s difficult to distinguish between the facts and bullshit here as it is well established that MKULTRA did happen and was so fucked up that the CIA deliberately hid as much of it as they could. This chapter discusses the Frank Olsen case, an experiment involving the CIA, prostitutes and LSD that I think I read about in CHAOS, that Manson book, and testimony from a person who was experimented on as a child that reads like an episode of Stranger Things.

Chapter 7.
The author discusses the Maury Island incident. Fred Crisman comes up. Then there’s an explanation of Roswell. It was an alien ship crashed by humans. It had been gifted to us by the Marcabs. Microwave technology and fiber optics were both also gifts from aliens.

Chapter 8.
Discussion on Area 51 and Hangar 18. Both defintiely house aliens. Also, the American government and the Nazis they imported after WW2 had a program where they abducted 75,000 US children every year to turn into mind controlled slaves.

Chapter 9.
The Dulce Base is underground base which houses thousands of alien human hybrids. Sometimes they get out and run amok. Some are reptilian, some are hairy. The reptilian ones may be the descendants of dinosaurs who entered the Hollow Earth through the hole in Antarctica hundreds of millions of years ago. This sounds too mental to be true, and it could be disinformation, but there’s no reason to believe that anything less crazy is actually happening.

Chapter 10.
It wasn’t Lee Harvey Oswald who killed Kennedy. We’re not sure who it was, but it wasn’t him. There were people talking about it before it happened, and others confessed. It wasn’t Oswald.

Chapter 11.
Marilyn Monroe was actually murdered because the FBI were afraid she would confess to public that JFK had taken her to Area 51 and showed her an alien. JFK’s next lover, Mary Pinchot Meyer used to score cocaine and LSD for him.

Chapter 12.
Sirhan Sirhan (RFK), Hinckley (Reagan) and Chapman (Lennon) were all mind control victims of the CIA. I’m struggling to keep hold of the thread that ties this book together. Any of the ideas in here are cool by themselves, but there’s no real effort to fit them together in a cohesive way. This book is just paranoid ramblings.

Chapter 13.
Cults are all part of the plan. Jonestown was a CIA orchestrated event possibly coordinated by Josef Mengele. The People’s Temple was also the CIA. The Davidians were chill, but the FBI killed them. (Apart from the Mengele part, none of this would be truly shocking.)

Chapter 14.
Ohio became a state later than other US states, and because President Taft was born there when it wasn’t yet a state, any laws he signed into law are obsolete. By the way, he’s the one who introduced income tax. Weird cryptids that originated in genetic experiments have made weird shelters out of wood to give birth in. Ohio is full of monsters like the Loveland creature.

Chapter 15.
AIDs is a man made disease to reduce black population

Chapter 16.
EU identification cards contain a barcode and the number 666. Someday we’ll all have an implant chip.
This is another conspiracy book from the 90s in which the author’s predictions of a dystopian future fall far short of what has actually happened. This chapter also details on black helicopters, HAARP, chemtrails, and fluoride in drinking water.

Epilogue
Unlike the black helicopter books i read recently, this book ends on a downer. The author warns that the New World Order is coming no matter what and there’s nothing we can do to stop it except praying. It’s pretty easy to threaten this when the description of the “Liquid Conspiracists” that he’s warning of is so vague that identifying them is essentially impossible.

This book is total crap, but it’s exactly the kind of thing I’ll deliberately leave out on the coffee table the next time my in-laws are paying a visit.

Jim Keith’s Black Helicopters Over America

I’d been planning to read Jim Keith’s Black Helicopters books for a while. The black helicopters conspiracy is a little dull in some ways, but it seems integral enough to conspiracy lore that I had to take a closer look. The general idea is that right wing militia types thought that unmarked black helicopters were swarming around America trying to suppress American patriots. These helicopters were piloted by emissaries of the New World Order, nameless/faceless individuals working for some shady, secretive division of the government focused on overthrowing the government.

Oh, by the way, I’ve cracked the code
I’ve figured out these shadow organizations
And the Illuminati know
That they’re finally primed for world domination

And soon you’ve got black helicopters comin’ cross the border
Puppet masters for the New World Order
Be aware: There’s always someone that’s watching you.

“Weird Al” Yankovic

The first book gives a timeline of black helicopter sightings. The confusing thing here is that for the first 20 or so years of these sightings, they were linked, almost exclusively, with cattle mutilations. It was only after 1993 that the helicopters became linked with the idea of political oppression. This switch seems confusing at first, but it’s easily explained away. The globalists spent 20 years having their henchmen cut up some cows to throw people off their trail. It seems kind of mad when you think about it first, but look at the wacky shit they pumped into the Kennedy assassination narrative. That the American government would push ridiculous disinformation to cover their tracks is the least unlikely part of this conspiracy theory.

Much of the rest of the books is extremely boring and unconvincing. Both discuss FEMA camps (a discredited idea about giant underground prisons covered extensively in Bill Cooper’s book). There’s also a bizarre section in the second book on the “quadrant sign code”. This is a theory that claims that the stickers placed on the back of traffic signs across America were actually placed in such a manner that they provided directions to different mystery locations to mystery employees of secret groups within the government. The person writing about this theory had not cracked the code, and hence had no actual evidence of his claims, but this didn’t stop him from waffling on for 17 pages. Overall, the second book is considerably worse. The first book isn’t hugely entertaining, but the ideas it was discussing were novel enough for me to enjoy it for a few hours. Also, the first volume covers roughly 25 years of sightings over its 150 pages. The second book covers 3 years of new information over the course of 220 pages, so it’s a bit more drawn out and dull.

I’m sure many people who read these books in the 1990s probably rolled their eyes at many of the claims herein. I probably would have too. It’s very easy to be dismissive of conspiracy theories, and there’s always people out there who are crazier than you. I’ve seen writing from Jim Keith, the author of this book, dismissing the claims of Bill Cooper and David Icke. I’m clearly skeptical of some of the claims made by Keith, but I have the benefit of hindsight and the internet. Looking back at what these guys were afraid of now is bizarre. Some of their fears were misguided, but many of them fell far short of how bad things would actually get. Keith is afraid of microchipping and government control over the lives of private citizens. Now the majority of people in America are glued to a cellphone that includes a camera, a microphone and GPS tracking. We routinely and willingly tell these phones things we wouldn’t tell another human being. Mega-corporations like google and meta know more about us than our closest friends and family members. Social media is a more efficient control of mind control than 90s conspiracy theorists could have imagined. It’s not UN soldiers who are murdering American citizens, it’s their own law enforcement agencies, and it’s not the globalists who’ve taken over, but billionaire child-molesting, bloodthirsty creeps, insidious scumbags who went out of their way to convince people like Keith’s patriotic readers that they were right while simultaneously using their fears as a playbook on how to seize control. I sincerely wish Jim Keith had been right. The New World Order sounds a whole lot better than the mess we have today.

Robert Anton Wilson’s Advice for Stopping the Illuminati from Messing with your Head

Every now and again, I go back to Robert Anton Wilson. After reading his Illuminatus! Trilogy, I went on to theorize about his Sex Magicians. I then took a look at his Irish novel before returning a few years later to his autobiography. While the effects that Wilson’s writing had on the realms of conspiracy and modern occultism are vast, not all of his books are Nocturnal Revelries material. I recently read 2 of his books, Prometheus Rising and The Illuminati Papers.

Prometheus Rising

New Falcon – 1983

Prometheus Rising is basically a self-help book to show people how to untangle their neuroses and understand their own thinking. It’s largely based around Timothy Leary’s 8 circuit model of consciousness. This idea comes up in the first entry of Wilson’s Cosmic Trigger series, but he goes into more detail here. I’m not a psychologist or neurologist or anything, but this concept seems like a load of hoaky bullshit to me. The first few “circuits”, the ones involving survival, emotions and semantics, make some sense. These are definitely things that affect how people think, but by the time we get to the discussions of genetic memory and quantum consciousness in the 7th and 8th circuits, we are dealing with nonsense.

While the main premise behind the book isn’t remotely convincing, Wilson’s writing was entertaining enough to get me through to the end. One of Wilson’s big ideas, and I think he talks more about this in Quantum Psychology (which is essentially a sequel to Prometheus Rising), is the idea of reality tunnels. The fact that Robert Anton Wilson’s reality tunnel incorporated Leary’s 8 circuit model of consciousness doesn’t have much of an effect on how I view his other ideas. It works for him, but I don’t think it works for me. Maybe I just don’t understand it properly.

SMI²LE, another of Leary’s ideas, is also important in this book. SMI²LE stands for Space Migration, Intelligence squared and Life Extension. As Leary and Wilson saw things, these were the goals that humanity should be striving for. I found it painful to see how optimistic Wilson was in the early 1980s. Back then, these guys thought that humanity would currently be living on different planets, educated to the point that we’d be living in a work and war free utopia and that medicine would be bringing us to the edge of immortality. What’s actually happening in the world today? Social media has taken control of our thinking, and it’s promulgating anti-scientific and anti-humanitarian disinformation to an audience that is too complacent to spit out the shit they are being fed. The quality of human life in wealthy nations is actually deteriorating. The most powerful men in the world are narcissistic scum who care only for themselves, and the majority of people are happy about this. We’re completely fucked.

The Illuminati Papers

Ronin Publishing – 1990 (Originally published 1980)

I also read The Illuminatus Papers. This is a collection of interviews with Wilson and essays that are written from the perspective of characters in his Illuminatus! Trilogy. It’s far less focused than Prometheus Rising, but it contains many similar ideas. The 8 Circuit Model of Consciousness and SMI²LE both come up again. There’s also essays on Stanley Kubrick, Ezra Pound, Beethoven and Raymond Chandler and lots of poems. The most interesting parts of this book are the interviews with Conspiracy Digest magazine where Wilson discusses Crowley, Satanism and various conspiracies. Of the 12 books by Robert Anton Wilson that I have read, this one is the least important. I actually enjoyed reading it more than Prometheus Rising, but it doesn’t really add anything substantive to the the author’s big ideas.

Just last night, I found an interview that Robert Anton Wilson did with Nardwuar. I knew that they had talked, but I had never heard the interview before. It’s a good listen. I find that Bob’s interviews and lectures are a more entertaining way of learning about his ideas about the real world. I think I’ll read some more of his fiction next.

Jim Keith’s Secret and Suppressed: Banned Ideas and Hidden History

Feral House – 1993

This is a book of texts that the government and the mainstream media didn’t want you to see! I use the past tense there because the stuff in here is very dated. It’s a Feral House compilation job, similar in style to Apocalypse Culture. I’ve had copies of the Apocalypse Culture books for years, but I’ve never read through either from start to finish because I don’t want to read the paedo-stuff. (Both books contain essays from real creeps.) I only read Secret and Suppressed because it contains “Sorcery, Sex, Assassination and the Science of Symbolism”, an extended version of James Shelby Downard’s Kill King 33° essay which was originally published in the first edition of Apocalypse Culture. The second edition of Apocalypse Culture replaced Kill King 33° with “The Call to Chaos: From Adam to Atom by Way of the Jornada del Muerto”, another piece by Downard. The second volume of Apocalypse Culture contains an entirely separate essay by Downard called “America, The Possessed Corpse”.

While “Sorcery, Sex, Assassination and the Science of Symbolism” is a longer version of the “Kill King 33°” essay in Apocalypse Culture, it’s actually not quite as long as the document titled “Kill King 33°: Masonic Symbolism in the Assassination of John F. Kennedy”. This document was co-written by our old pal Michael A. Hoffman II. This contains a few more details than the version in Secret and Suppressed. These extra details deal with stuff from Downard’s autobiography.

Honestly, all versions of this essay are truly ridiculous nonsense. The main idea is that JFK was assassinated by the Freemasons. The proof for this lies in the spellings of certain words and how they might be translated, some numerological nonsense, and some not-so-coincidental coincidences. Apparently the three tramps, the ones photographed in the park after JFK was killed, represent 3 of the characters in Waiting for Godot, Samuel Beckett’s 1949 absurdist play. Godot, the character who never shows up in that play, is obviously JFK. This play was written 14 years before Kennedy’s assassination. I assume Samuel Beckett was a member of the Illuminati to have this kind of foreknowledge. Later on, Downard points out that the guy who killed Lee Harvey Oswald, JFK’s alleged assassin, was named Jack Ruby. RUBY! Ruby slippers! Ruby slippers send you home. Jack Ruby sent Lee Harvey Oswald home! This has been there the whole time, and we didn’t notice it! WAKE UP!!!

Honestly, I was planning on doing a more in depth post on the writing’s of James Shelby Downard, but this has been enough. He was either a very insane person or a CIA psyop to make conspiracists look crazy.

Here’s a recap of the other pieces in Secret and Suppressed:

EssayAuthorNotes
My Father Is a CloneGary StollmanThis was really cool. In 1987, a crazy man got into a TV studio, put a gun to the newsreader’s head and made him read out a diatribe about the CIA, aliens and his replacement father. Cool.
An Open Letter to the Swedish Prime Minster From a Survivor of Electromagnetic TerrorRobert NaeslundThis dude believed he was a victim of a mind control experiment. Boring.
Remote Mind Control TechnologyAnna KeelerUnreadable technical writing about mind control technology. Barely skimmed this one. Probably all true, but I’m not really interested.
Is Paranoia A Form of Awareness?Kerry W. ThornleyThe dude who knew Lee Harvey Oswald and created Discordianim reflects on conspiracy theories.
Sorcery, Sex, Assassination and the Science of SymbolismJames Shelby DownardDiscussed above.
Subliminal Images in Oliver Stone’s JFKDean GraceA list of what the title describes. I haven’t seen that movie in years. I didn’t rewatch to check the list. Maybe I will when I am old and have more free time.
Terminator IIIAssociated PressNewspaper articles about racist games that were available in the early 1990s. It’s surprising how naive people were about the insidious ways we would come to use technology.
The Masonic RipperJim KeithJack the Ripper was a freemason. I came across this idea in Alan Moore’s From Hell. I assume it’s originally from another book.
The Erotic Freemasonry of Count Nicholas von ZinzendorfTim O’NeillThere once was a mason named Nick,
He liked others to play with his…
Rumors, Myths and Urban Legends Surrounding the Death of Jim MorrisonThomas LyttleI thought Jim Morrison was cool when I was 15. I become less interested in him as each year passes.
The Last Testament of Rev. Jim JonesJim JonesThis is a transcription of the Jonestown Death Tape. I had heard this recording before, but not since becoming a parent. I was able to read this, but I couldn’t listen to the recording of the babies screaming while their parents murdered them. Too much.
The Black Hole of GuyanaJohn JudgeThis essay posits that the People’s Temple commune was a CIA experiment. I reckon it’s easier for some people to believe that a faceless government organisation would be capable of committing such an atrocity than any one specific person. Jim Jones was a real cunt.
Behold, A Pale Horse A Draft of Danny Casolaro’s Octopus Manuscript Proposal
Kenn ThomasI am planning on reading Thomas’s book about the Octopus and Danny Casolaro soon.
Why Waco?Ken FawcettThe Waco tragedy was deliberate. Duh.
An Invitation to WarAmbassador April Glaspie & Saddam HusseinAmerican diplomat encouraging Saddam to start a war.
Inside the Irish Republican ArmyScott SmithScott Smith interviews an Irish freedom fighter. Brits out.
Recipes for Nonsurvival: The Anarchist CookbookEsperanze GodotThe Anarchist Cookbook is designed to kill the Anarchists who try to make its recipes. I remember getting a pdf of the anarchist’s cookbook when I was a kid. It was very disappointing. Never tried anything from it.
Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars
This is the document that somebody left in a photocopier than William Milton Cooper published in his Behold a Pale Horse
Secrets from the Vatican Library
This is a very long, boring document that claims that the bad jews kill children and drink their blood. There are good jews too, but it’s never discussed how to tell them apart.
AIDS: Act of God or the Pentagon?
When I was a kid, I was told that AIDS started when a man shagged a monkey. This story claims otherwise. I am not convinved.
“Clinton is the best guy for us”
Some American guy working for a pro-Israel organisation boasts about his political power.
Exposing the Nazi International
A neo nazi describes his relationship with Otto Skorzeny, a Nazi soldier who faked his own death. Boring and probably all bullshit.

Secret and Suppressed was a fairly interesting read. A lot of really fucked up things have happened since it was published though, and the paranoia that this book attempts to induce is widespread at this point. I think a lot of the claims made in this book are inaccurate, but I believe that things are just as bad as it makes them out to be.

Who Really Calls the Shots? Bruce Roberts and The Gemstone File

Bruce Roberts invented a technique that could create diamonds, rubies and gemstones. Unfortunately for him, the millionaire Howard Hughes stole his ideas and ruined his reputation. Bruce was pretty pissed about this so he took all the gems he had created and started trading them for top secret information. Eventually he had so many secrets that he was able to just trade these secrets for more secrets. He started writing all his secrets down and sending copies of them to random people including Mae Brussell, the host of a conspiracy theory radio show. Mae hired Stephanie Caruana, a writer from Playgirl magazine, to summarise the hundreds (or thousands) of pages of messages that Bruce had sent her. The result was The Skeleton Key to the Gemstone File, a document so scandalous that it was photocopied thousands of times and sent to conspiracists all over the world.

The Skeleton Key to the Gemstone File – Bruce Roberts and Stephanie Caruana

Independently photocopied – 1976ish

The above sounds like bullshit, and I’ve seen people online claim that Caruana fabricated the whole thing. I don’t think this is true though. It seems like a man named Bruce Roberts did actually exist and that he did compile hundreds of pages of outrageous conspiracies. I suspect that he was a paranoid schizophrenic and that Caruana went through his notes and cherry picked parts that she could fit into a somewhat cohesive narrative. For a man of his apparent genius, it is suspicious that the only mentions of him on the internet are linked to the Gemstone File.

The only known photograph of Bruce Roberts. He’s fitting Carmen Miranda with jewelry in 1952. It was 8 years later that Howard Hughes stole his rubies.

Regardless of where it came from, the actual contents of the Gemstone File are even more implausible than the story behind it.

Aristotle Onassis, the Greek shipping magnate, was basically the head of the Mafia and the most powerful man in America. He kidnapped Howard Hughes, another millionaire, and forced him to become a junky. The Hughes that appeared in public after the kidnapping was an actor. Onassis was responsible for JFK becoming president, but he also had him killed when he stepped out of line. He also had Robert Kennedy killed, but he got Teddy Kennedy off the hook for killing a woman in 1969. Most important events in mid 20th century American history (Watergate, the Vietnam war…) involved Onassis in some way. Other secrets are revealed in here, including shocking details on the identity of Christ (He was an Arab, not a Jew!), and a lot of people die from sodium morphate poisoning. (Sodium Morphate is an imaginary chemical that the mafia use to assassinate people. It’s supposed to smell like apple pie.)

I’m not an expert on American history, but I’m fairly sure that most of the claims made in The Skeleton Key to the Gemstone File are completely bogus. There’s nothing super crazy in here (in comparison to other conspiracy theories), and a lot of its allegations would be believable if they weren’t tied to so many different strands of the story. Reality doesn’t seem as cohesive as this. Also, it’s almost 50 years since this thing started to spread, and as far as I know, very little if any of this story has been substantiated.

While there’s no aliens, satanists or cryptids involved in this conspiracy, I did find reading about it entertaining, but I think the most fascinating element of the Gemstone File phenomena is how it spread rather than its contents. It didn’t arrive in an email or a reddit thread. People got photocopies of this thing in the mail and went on to copy it again and send it on to their friends. When I want conspiracy theories, I click a few times and take my pick of a million different sources of paranoid bullshit. Ultimately, I am glad that I have such a wealth of nonsense to wade through, but I shiver with delight just thinking about how I would feel to get a physical copy of a forbidden document of secret information in the post.

The Gemstone File – Jim Keith

IllumiNet Press – 1992

I read two books about the Gemstone File. The first was The Gemstone File edited by Jim Keith. It features the text of The Skeleton Key to the Gemstone (the full 300-1000 page set of documents has never been published to my knowledge) and a bunch of essays by people who assume that it’s all a pile of shit. There’s a few others interviews and a articles in here and a short story too. It was a pretty good starting point. I feel like a lot of the stuff in Robert Anton Wilson’s article was lifted directly from his Cosmic Trigger books.

Inside the Gemstone File – Kenn Thomas and David Hatcher Childress

Adventures Unlimited Press – 2001 (First published 1999)

The next book I read was Inside the Gemstone File by Kenn Thomas and David Hatcher Childress. This is very similar in format to Keith’s book, and actually contains a lot of the same information, including the text of the Skeleton Key and the Kiwi Gemstone. There’s an essay in here claiming that Aristotle Onassis was the basis for Blofeld, James Bond’s nemesis. It was pretty convincing, and it made me really want to marathon all the James Bond movies. The rest of the articles in this book delve further into conspiracy theory lore, and Thomas does his best to link the Gemstone phenomena to the Danny Casolaro/Octopus story. (Kenn Thomas actually co-authored a book with Jim Keith on that topic, and I’m planning to read it soon. I watched that Netflix series on the Octopus recently, after reading Kenn Thomas’s book on Fred Crisman and JFK.) While I find it hard to believe that the assassination of JFK, the Maury Island UFO sightings, and the strange death of Danny Casolaro are related, there are definitely fucked up elements to all of these stories. I’ve been riding the conspiracy train a lot in the last few months, and while I remain skeptical of any accounts given, I would be shocked to find out that government agencies had not been involved in concerted efforts to obfuscate what really happened in each of these cases.

I am starting to wonder if I’m reading too many conspiracy books. I didn’t know who Aristotle Onassis was when I started this book, and when I found out he was a Greek lad who made his money in shipping, I immediately thought of James Shelby Downard’s friend from chapters 30 and 31 of his autobiography. Downard claimed to have worked on a dodgy Greek boat that was filled with illegal immigrants in the early 1930s. This would have been around the time that Onassis was involved in shipping. Either Downard was involved with Onassis, which would add another layer to the conspiracy, Downard was working for a totally different Greek (maybe Onassis’s brother-in-law) or Downard was a hoax created by a fan of conspiracies and the Greek ship is a nod to the claims of the Gemstone File.

One of the most worrying parts of reading about this stuff was realizing how much my knowledge of American history comes from episodes of The Simpsons. I’m pretty sure that’s where I first heard of Watergate and Nixon, and while I didn’t know about Teddy Kennedy’s court case after the Chappaquiddick incident until recently, I’ve long know about Freddy Quimby’s court case after beating up the French waiter. Also, I only knew who Howard Hughes was because of the Simpson’s episode where Mr. Burns becomes a germaphobic recluse.

Carnivals of Life and Death: The Bizarre Life of Conspiracist James Shelby Downard

A few months ago, my friend recommended that I read the autobiography of James Shelby Downard. I didn’t recognise the name, but it turned out that this Downard guy is a mysterious figure in the conspiracy theory world. It’s not that he was into mysterious topics (although he definitely was). His life, output and reputation are shrouded in uncertainty. I mentioned him recently in my post about Robert Anton Wilson’s Cosmic Trigger books. The reference to him in the first of these books is quite vague, and he’s only mentioned as Mr. Downard. Wilson describes hearing a tape recording of a conversation between Downard and Jim Brandon (aka William Grimstad, a notorious white supremacist). In this conversation (some of which can be heard here) Downard and Grimstad supposedly set out a theory about how the Illuminati are preparing the world for UFO contact. More than a decade later, an essay by Downard appeared in Feral House’s Apocalypse Culture. Apocalypse Culture is an infamous collection of essays from some of the most bizarre and disgusting fringes of society. Kill King 33, Downard’s essay, is one of the strangest pieces of writing in there. It basically blames the killing of JFK on the Freemasons. It’s an abridged version of a longer piece of writing that appeared in another Feral House book a few years later. The revised version of Apocalypse Culture replaces it with another essay by Downard, and Apocalypse Culture II features yet another essay by him. It was through these appearances that the work of Downard came to attention of mainstream conspiracists.

A few years after he died, Feral House published Downard’s autobiography. It such a bizarre piece of writing that it convinced some people that James Shelby Downard was actually a hoax perpetrated by Michael A. Hoffman II (his pal and collaborator) and Adam Parfrey. This doesn’t make sense to me as Robert Anton Wilson came across him well before these two collaborated. Also, I feel that if somebody was going to make up a person, they would put more effort into making things seem believable. The writing here is far too ludicrous for me to imagine that a person wanted me to believe it. How many 5 year olds would think of circumcising themselves to get out of a pickle? A lot of this book is made up of memories that were wiped from Downard’s mind as a young man which he later recalled. The way that he got these memories back isn’t clearly outlined, and most of them are so hazy and unbelievable that I suspect they were just dreams.

Feral House – 2006

James Shelby Downard’s The Carnivals of Life and Death: My Profane Youth, 1913-1935

Unfortunately, while this book does touch on aspects of conspiracy theories, it doesn’t do so in a meaningful or interesting way. The enjoyment that comes from reading this text is derived solely from the surprise that an adult man could write such bizarre nonsense. I don’t normally summarize books chapter by chapter, but I have done so here for my own future reference and to save you from having to wade through this terrible, insane piece of writing. This is long, so if you’re only mildly interested and just want the craziest parts, I suggest just reading the bits I have highlighted. (I expect that doing so will convince you to carefully reread the whole thing.)

Chapter by Chapter Summary

Chapter 1
The author, a 5 year old boy, is kidnapped by the KKK after being arrested for smuggling alcohol. Goes on to kill KKK by blowing some up with dynamite and shooting others with gun he stole from a police officer. He later kills more men with dynamite.

Chapter 2
His mom makes him dress like a girl to go meet some men in a music shop. When be gets there he shoots one with a gun he had hidden in his outfit. Next day his mom sends him away with some other men. His gun is gone, so he packs a scissors for protection. The men poison him, but he spits it out. When he is left for dead, he gets an erection, so he takes out the scissors he has stashed in his outfit and circumcises himself. His screams of pain scare the bad men away. A few months later an old man tries to turn him into a golem by writing on his forehead with lipstick.

Chapter 3
Mom runs away with a “dirty greaser” named Count Eugenio, but she takes James with her. He is taken to Jekyll Island where he sees Alexander Graham Bell getting sucked off by a gambler. He later goes to a party where a man named “Cock Robin” chokes him in front of a cheering crowd. Cock Robin is shot dead shortly after. The KKK show up again and Alexander Graham Bell uses a machine to bring Cock Robin back to life. Then he gets sucked off by a klansman. Count Eugenio then takes James to some kind of toilet museum where James pisses all over the floor and walls. James will later see somebody cut off Count Eugenio’s bollocks and shove it down his throat.

Chapter 4
The gang move on. In one place they stay, James finds himself in a warehouse full of centipedes that are part of a mind control experiment. then his mother abandons him with a paedophile hotel-keeper, but James locks the paedo in a room, fills it with gas and then lights a match and throws it in. He then lives on the street with a coyote and eats cow shit.
He returns to try to kill the man he recently blew up, but the man actually sends a killer to get the boy first. The boy sets his pet rattlesnake on the killer and then beats him unconscious with a chunk of wood and steals his money. Mom comes back and says she took so long because she had been kidnapped.

Chapter 5
The KKK kidnaps the 7 year old narrator and his dad, and then they crucify the boy. Dad pulls the nails out and takes him home, but KKK kidnap him again and try to bum him, but his asshole is too small. They plan to cut his asshole to make it bigger, but their boss says no.
The narrator later tricks them into shooting each other by firing a cap gun in the air.
Days later, his mom tells him to go to scene of the shootout he caused to get a present. He doesn’t want to, but his mom forces him. When he gets there, another child gives him a dead cat in a box. He then attends a dinner in a Jewish family’s home, but he seems to suspect the food is poisoned so he throws it on the table, issues an anti Semitic remark and runs away.

Chapter 6
The Jewish man he insulted gets him a job at a local bar that is actually a front for a freemason’s hall. A man there takes a disliking to him so he tries to feed him to some carnivorous pigs. The kid befriends the pigs and sets them free and throws the skull of one of their victims through the bar’s window. The freemasons then conduct a trial to determine his guilt, but this is ended quickly when he takes out his willy and pees at the judge.
A man then tries to shoot him, but he fills the bar with gas and blows it up. After the explosion he sticks his pocket knife up the bad guy’s nose.
The freemasons are angry about this so they send a cowboy assassin to kill James, but James shoots him with a shotgun made out of a pipe and then smashes his face with a hammer and throws corpse over a bridge. This all happened when he was 8 or 9.

Chapter 7
The boy sees a snake charmer doing an act, betting people they cant lift his heavy snake. The boy gives the snake some meat and the snake is so thankful that it lifts itself onto this shoulders and makes it look like he is lifting it, much to the charmer’s chagrin.
A week later his mom sends him to the shop for cleaning fluid. He also buys a water pistol which he fills with said fluid. On his way home, the snake charmer threatens him with a real gun, so James shoots him in the eyes with the cleaner and stabs him in the belly. He then feeds him to the snake and opens a sewer drain so the snake can escape. He then goes into the charmers home, kisses another of his snakes and gives his Gila dragon an orgasm.
Three men jump out of a car and try to kill him on his way home, but he shoots 2 of them. He was 9 or 10 at this point.

Chapter 8
The klan and his mom plot to kill him again, but he sets them on fire. Then another man kidnaps him and tries to shoot him, but the kid shoots his eyeball out with his BB gun.

Chapter 9
He agrees to join the Order of DeMolay, a masonic youth group. His initiation ritual is held in a house owned by Count Cagliostro, and another boy tries to murder him with a ventriloquist’s dummy containing a spring loaded knife. He has a thick magazine stuffed down his shirt though, so he lives to get the dummy to stab the stabber. He then gets one of his mates to steal Cagliostro’s sword. Cagliostro, who may actually just be a man named Beppo, gets pissed so tries to kill James with a gun loaded with a needle bullet, but James shouts at Cagliostro that he is the devil and frightens him away.
Then he takes the needle bullet out of the gun and stabs Cagliostro with it before killing him by smashing his head with a telephone. His mom convinces him to go to the funeral, but he is kidnapped by Beppo’s friends to be buried alive with the corpse, but he stabs one of them and jumps out of the car.

Chapter 10
His teacher takes him on school tour and tries to abandon him, but he finds a way home. He electrocutes a pig-owner who was using his family’s faucet.

Chapter 11
Sister’s boyfriend introduces him to Arthur Rochford Manby, a con artist who later had his decapitated face eaten by a dog. His mom tells him to move out after he finds his dad living in an abandoned building. She gives him 75 cents and a shotgun and an address. When he gets there, he befriends a pack of wild boar outside. When he enters some men try to get him drunk and fuck a prostitute, but he runs away and sends his pigs to kill the men. Then as he is going through their pockets, the girl they tried make him shag comes and helps. She later tries to adopt him but it doesn’t work out.

Chapter 12
Mom throws hot coffee in two burglars’ eyes. A man in a quarry tries to kill him, so he hurts the man (presumably with a gun) and chains his buddies to a fence, fills the quarry with water and walks away.

Chapter 13
James goes to see a new oil pipe being laid. A man tries to kill him by shoving him into the pipe, so he shoots the man in the head with his “nigger shooter” (a slingshot). He is immediately taken to a house where another man sticks him in a wooden trap, but he escapes and forces the man into the trap where he probably dies.

Chapter 14
The KKK try to get him to join, but when they tell him to whip a black guy, he refuses. They try to kill him, so he shoots one of them dead and the rest run away. He then goes to free the black guy he didn’t beat from slavery, but he has to shoot the black guy’s boss to set him free.

Chapter 15
He finds a treasure chest but his friends basically steal it from him.

Chapter 16
A man asks James to look at his house. Initially his price is too high, but he drops it on the condition that Downard goes into his father’s tomb and takes some stuff out of it. When Downard gets there he finds the tomb booby trapped, so he steals the stuff inside out of spite.

Chapter 17
He looks through the stuff he looted from the grave. It’s mostly books attributed to him that seem to be written in a cipher. There is also a machine that he thinks might decipher them. He contacts the American government, but they are no help, and they actually steal one of his books, so he goes to JP Morgan’s house and gets a guided tour of his library.

Chapter 18
Downard writes to Franklin D Roosevelt because the government stole one of his books. The president apologizes and sends some secret service men over to collect everything Downard took out of the grave. He then sends Downard a cheque for a million dollars, but Downard’s dad won’t let him cash it.

Chapter 19
Downard befriends millionaire Mr. Proctor of Proctor and Gamble fame. Proctor borrows his book of cryptograms and when Downard asks for it back Proctor tells him to go to a pottery shop where 2 men show him a skeleton being cremated.
Proctor then tells him to meet him in graveyard but then doesn’t show up.
Downard’s da then brings him back to the pottery shop/crematorium where a man with a shotgun threatens to throw him into a fiery kiln. Downard runs to the car, grabs his shotgun and scares the bad man. The man’s workers then throw the man into the fire and burn him alive.
Downard never gets the book from Proctor back and deduces that it was part of an Illuminati scheme perpetrated by his own father.

Chapter 20
Downard visits another Downard’s house and claims to remember it from childhood. His mom tells him his dad has been lying to him because he resents what the klan did do him because of James. The book was written by Uncle Brad, but no further info on Brad is given.

Chapter 21
James starts a new school. One of the teachers sucks off the students. Downard exposes him at graduation ceremony.

Chapter 22
Mother and father are having trouble with some criminals who stole their house. They send Downard to a masonic lodge. The mason he meets tries to get him to hang a doll, but this makes Downard mad so he pushes the mason down the stairs and pisses in his face. He later meets a guy who tries to kill the president.

Chapter 23
Mom gets dad put into a nuthouse because he has started drinking too much. He tells Downard somebody will come to kill him, but then he hangs himself.

Chapter 24
Downard joins a military camp, but the guys in charge want to kill him so he gets discharged on purpose by deliberately getting caught sneaking out at night. As soon as he is discharged, he walks up to the Whitehouse, gives his name and the security let him in.

Chapter 25
He meets the president and both confess to being illuminati members to each other even though Downard is bluffing. The president then gets him a job at the the Bureau of Investigation but during training an Bureau of Investigation man points a gun at him so Downard shoots him.

Chapter 26
On a Bureau of Investigation mission, Downard goes to the docks to get work from mafia. They say they wont hire him because he looks weak, so he lifts a large man over his head to prove strength. He gets the job and steals some whiskey from a boat. Then he goes back to the Bureau of Investigation who send him on a secret mission to Cuba. When he gets there he buys a gun and meets an old school friend who tells him the Cuban police are going to kill him. Then he meets a man who pulls down his pants and shows him a castration scar. Several cars then drive by Downard and the men inside all try to shoot him, but he shoots each one dead.
He tells a story of how when he was a kid he used to feed some alligators and walk on their backs to burp them. Once he lured a bully into their cage and they ate him.
He kills some more Cuban police officers and meets another member of the secret society of benevolent castrati. He bribes a government official who puts him on a boat with an Obeah priestess who takes him to Haiti. From there he gets boat back to the USA.

Chapter 27
Downard buys a Bugatti but some men hit him in the back of head and take him to a military hospital where they wipe his memory with a mind control machine that gives him seizures and orgasms. He is allowed to escape after a while but he is then abducted again and poked with a syringe full of something. He loses his memory but somehow gets home.

He attends a few colleges but leaves because the people are weird. Has  a meeting with military personnel but shortly thereafter passes out. When he comes to, he has a hiccupping fit so he goes to the doctor. The doctor vigorously fingers his asshole. No harm done. He says the doctor did this to stimulate his pudendal nerve. I don’t know why a doctor would do that to a person with the hiccups.

Chapter 28
In Memphis, Downard goes to a sex circus where he sees a woman, probably a witch, having sex with strangers. He leaves before she fucks a dog, but he is more disturbed by the fact that she “fucked and sucked a negro”. The next day he goes to another sex circus with the same girl sucking and fucking strangers, but this time he leaves when they bring a pony in to fuck her.
He tries to stop these sex circuses from happening with help from his Bureau of Investigation buddies, but they wipe his memory.

Chapter 29
He trades a million dollar certificate for an old shotgun and some other crap, but people dupe him out of his prizes except for a fancy archery bow.

Chapter 30
He gets a job on a Greek ship but discovers there are illegal immigrants locked in the hold. He sets them free and they take control of the ship. Both the men working on the ship and the men in the hold are referred to as greasers. I was a bit confused. I know that Mexicans and Greeks had a greasy reputation, but one of these men is referred to as a “chink-greaser”. I guess all foreigners were greasers.

Chapter 31
He goes to watch a boxing match and visits a fencing club and a concert. The Greek calls him and asks him to work on the ship again.

Chapter 32
A famous socialist asks Downard to retrieve some books by an author with the same name as Downard, but when he gets to the place with the books, the door is booby-trapped. He turns off the electricity to the booby trap, gets books and then goes back and punches the socialist in the face. Military guys offer him a job but he gets suspicious because the interview for the job is in the woods. At the second interview for this job, he shoots somebody. He gives the books that somebody with his name wrote to the Skull and Bones society.

Chapter 33
The books by “him” are science, telepathy and prophecy books. He has another job interview, but when he gets there the interviewer attacks him with a needle. He gets the needle and injects the other lad with it. This chap dies. Then he finds the lad who sent him to that interview and punches his face for him. He joins a secret carnival society who try to kill him, but he outsmarts them, steals their chickens and gives them to a black man. He goes to a party in Florida but it turns out to be a gunfight, so he flees.

Chapter 34
He joins a new college and pranks the dean by releasing some chickens into his garden. He finds some old stuff with his name on it of which he has no memory. He would have been about 23 or 24 at this point, but the book ends here.

This book covers the first 23 years of the author’s life, but James Shelby Downard lived until he was about 83 (dates of his birth and death vary by a few years online), and I am sure he had plenty more adventures before he died. I don’t know if I could stomach reading about many more of them though. This book took a lot of effort to read. It’s entertaining to take a look into the mind of a crazy person, but this is a lengthy, dense tome, and it took me more than 2 months to get through it.

Mr. Downard

Another book of his writings recently appeared, but I don’t think that it’s a continuation of his life story. I have been making my way through some of Downard’s essays recently, and I will do a separate post on them in the near future.

Catholicism, Conspiracies and Consciousness: Robert Anton Wilson’s Cosmic Trigger Trilogy

Robert Anton Wilson has been a hero of mine for quite a while. His Illuminatus! Trilogy was one of the first books I read for this blog. My reviews of his The Sex Magicians and Masks of the Illuminati are probably the best pieces of writing I’ve published. I’ve read a couple more of his books since posting those, but the contents of The Book of the Breast and Quantum Psychology aren’t exactly Nocturnal Revelries material.

I’ve been reading a lot of books about conspiracies recently, and digging in this field this has led me to an absolutely bizarre individual called James Shelby Downard. There are rumours online that he’s not a real person, and that was was made up by Adam Parfrey and Michael Hoffman II for an essay published in Parfrey’s Apocalypse Culture from 1987. This confused me as I had read that Robert Anton Wilson had mentioned Shelby in Cosmic Trigger: Final Secret of the Illuminati, the first part of Wilson’s “autobiography”, in 1977. There’s actually a quote on the cover of Shelby’s autobiography from Wilson that says, “the most absurd, the most incredible, the most ridiculous Illuminati theory of them all”. I thought it only responsible to see what Wilson had to say about Downard, so I read all three entries of the Cosmic Trigger series.

Hilaritas Press – 2019 editions

So these books aren’t really an autobiography. There’s autobiographical elements, especially in the second volume, but, as a whole, they’re more a collection of Wilson’s big ideas and how he came to adopt them.

Final Secret of the Illuminati – 1977

The first book wasn’t that great. I’ve watched enough video lectures of Wilson to know his general outlook, and none of the stuff on Timothy Leary, the Illuminati, Discordianism, Aleister Crowley, and the author’s own alien contact came as a surprise to me. One of the big things that Wilson pushes is the idea of reality tunnels and how truth, by his definition, is relative. I accept this idea, and Wilson’s linguistic philosophy is one of my favourite things about him, but the examples he provides in this book are ridiculous. One of his favourite books at the time of writing this was Robert Temple’s The Sirius Connection, one of the worst pieces of crap I’ve ever read. He also presents the psychic powers of Uri Gellar as evidence for some of his claims. I was a bit surprised that a person who I thought was intelligent had been duped by such garbage. Also, there’s a bit near the end where Wilson presents Timothy Leary’s 8-circuit model of consciousness in significant detail. Admittedly, I am not a cognitive neuroscientist, but this idea absolutely stank of shit to me. The book ends with Wilson’s kid dying. This was heartbreaking to read, and I wonder if it had something to do with the second half of the book being far worse than the first.

Down to Earth – 1991

Part 2 was by far the most enjoyable in the Cosmic Trigger series. Wilson tells more of his life story in this one, and he comes across as the witty, interesting guy I know he was. He had spent much of the time between writing this and the first book in Ireland, and this is apparent in his writing. Much of the book is taken up with discussions on his “Irish” upbringing, James Joyce and the modern Irish legal system. He also gets into the P2 conspiracy. Honestly, you could read and enjoy this one without picking up the other 2 entries in the series. It actually deals with the earliest parts of his life more thoroughly than the first entry in the series, so it’d be a fine starting point.

My Life after Death – 1995

I don’t know if I’d been reading too much of the one author or that this book is just worse than the others, but I didn’t hugely enjoy the last entry in the series. Wilson had already covered most of his important life experiences in the previous books, and this one came out only 4 years after the preceding entry. Does enough stuff happen between the ages of 59 and 64 to warrant a new entry in an autobiography? Apparently not. Instead of offering new, insightful ways of thinking about the world, Wilson instead fills this book with cringeworthy claims about the threat of political correctness and how society oppresses men more than women. I am quite sure that Wilson wasn’t a bad guy, but these tirades are hard to stomach in 2024. Don’t get me wrong. I accept that some of the ways that people currently expect others to use language are utterly ridiculous, but in my experience, the people who are complaining about political correctness and “wokeism” are usually assholes. Again, I’ve read enough of Wilson to know that he wasn’t anything close to a bigot, and he does make some valid points about identity politics, but the way he sets his arguments up are a little too similar to your Trump voting uncle’s facebook posts. At one point he asks why there’s no such thing as a straight pride parade. Sigh. There’s some discussion of the Priory of Sion mysteries here, and it seems that Wilson had encountered similar ideas on this topic to Tracy Twyman’s. He also discusses Orson Welles, Shakespeare and Elmyr, the art forger. This wasn’t as interesting as the other books, but it’s still worth a read.

I read these books because I’m going through a conspiracy theory phase at the moment, and Robert Anton Wilson is something of a conspiracy expert. He does discuss multiple conspiracies in these books, but he’s using conspiracies as a way to explain his worldview rather than adding a huge amount to conspiracy lore. Some of his ideas were a bit naïve and/or silly, but Wilson was always self aware enough to avoid coming across as a complete tool. He also had a lot of really good ideas, and I think his ideas on language should be more widely read. The Cosmic Trigger books were amusing overall, and they’re probably an easier starting point than the author’s fiction. I’m sure I’ll get around to more of that in the future.

Beware the Cryptocracy! Michael A. Hoffman II’s Secret Societies and Psychological Warfare

When I was reading 9/11 as Mass Ritual, I noticed repeated references to a book called Secret Societies and Psychological Warfare by Michael A. Hoffman II and put it on my to-read list. Recently, I’ve been researching a particularly bizarre conspiracy-theorist named James Shelby Downard, and it turns out that his most infamous piece of writing, an essay called Kill King 33°, was co authored by Hoffman. I did a little research on this Hoffman chap, and it turned out that most of his other books are about how much he dislikes the Jews. He’s a holocaust denier and a key proponent of the Irish slavery myth. I’m not interested in reading crap like that, but this particular text is focused on more esoteric topics, and it seems pretty influential among cuckoo crazy conspiracists. Bill Cooper spent a couple of episodes of his radio show on this text. I had to read it.

Wiswell Ruffin House – 1992 (First published 1989)

Michael A. Hoffman II – Secret Societies and Psychological Warfare

The world is ruled by a shadow government. It’s not exactly clear who makes up this cryptocracy, but it’s almost definitely the Freemasons. This satanic cabal uses the media, shadow language and psychodrama to control the unthinking masses.

Hoffman claims that the cryptocracy produce traumatic events to scare the public and then wait a few years to leak information that basically admits their guilt. Jack the Ripper, the Son of Sam, and the Kennedy assassination were all examples of this. It’s this idea that 9/11 as Mass Ritual is based around. I covered the Son of Sam stuff before, and I’m going to be revisiting the JFK stuff with Hoffman’s pal Downard real soon. I’m also thinking of doing a deep dive into Ripperology at some point in the future. The main thing holding me back is the sheer volume of books about Saucy Jack. I don’t know where to start.

Shadow language is method by which the cryptocracy deliberately drop hints that they have done something terrible. Remember that time when an Ozzy Osbourne song contained the name of an airport where a plane landed on 9/11? You think it’s coincidence that Dealey Plaza where Kennedy was killed is on the 33rd parrallel and that there are 33 degrees in Freemasonry? I suppose crazy people forget that there is a finite number of words in and that some words will pop up in conversations about entirely different things.

Hoffman also claims that the murder of Sharon Tate was a sacrifice to the moon goddess after the first astronauts to land on the moon desecrated her by loading 50lbs of moon rocks into their shuttle back to earth. I hadn’t heard that one before.

In general, there are two big problems with Hoffman’s writing. The first is that it’s bad. I’m a big fan of clarity. My approach to argumentative writing has always been to state things as clearly and simply as possible. Don’t beat around the bush. Say what you mean and then provide examples and clarifications. Hoffman doesn’t do this. There’s no clear central thesis to this work. It reads like a frustrated rant.

The second problem is that most of what Hoffman says is glaringly obvious. In fact, many of his claims about the manipulability of the public seem understated given the events of the last 30 years. Human beings are exactly as stupid as Hoffman portrays them, but in reality, the forces that govern them are considerably more powerful (and sinister) than the freemasons. It would be pretty easy for a stupid person to read this book and see it as prophetic. In that way, it’s similar to the Unabomber’s manifesto. It came as no surprise to see that Hoffman actually contributed an essay on the Unabomber to the second volume of Adam Parfrey’s Apocalypse Culture.

People are dumb idiots, but I cannot believe that there is a well coordinated effort by a shadow government to control them. That idea gives us too much credit. Everybody is stupid, absolutely everybody. The Illuminati, if they exist, are morons too. As mentioned above, I am currently reading more of Hoffman’s work on conspiracies. It’s leading me to a lot of bizarre texts and sketchy characters. Take care. There’s a lot of freaks out there.

Ozzy did 9/11! S.K. Bain’s The Most Dangerous Book in the World

I was still in school when I saw Loose Change, one of the documentaries that popularised the 9/11 truther movement. It was a formative experience for me. I was convinced that it was real for a few days, but after reading up on it, I came to realise that it was nonsense. I accept that the American government is a deceit machine that was at least partly culpable, but if they were deliberately going to do this to their own country, they wouldn’t leave as many clues and discrepancies as conspiracy theorists would have us believe.

I ignored the topic for almost 20 years, even after taking an interest in conspiracy theories. If the 9/11 attacks were staged, it could only have been political. There were no aliens or Satanic cults involved, so I wasn’t interested.

Trine Day – 2012

The Most Dangerous Book in the World: 9/11 as Mass Ritual

A few years ago, I saw this book and it caught my attention. Not only is the title unutterably stupid and potentially offensive, but it also promises a scintillating layer of black magic to the 9/11 truth movement. I knew I’d have to read it, but it seemed pretty long. The introduction was also written by Peter Levenda. I’ve read a few of his books, and my least favourite was his book on conspiracies. After recently reading and enjoying the Heck out of Milton William Cooper’s Behold a Pale Horse, another lengthy book about insane conspiracy theories, I decided to dive into Bain’s work.

I’m really glad I did. I enjoyed this book a lot more than I was expecting, and I finished it in just a few days. Please don’t misunderstand. This is not a convincing book at all, but it’s easy to read, and its claims are so outrageous that I consumed it very quickly

The US government is run by Illuminati disciples of Aleister Crowley. These creeps organised the 9/11 attacks as a massive black magic ritual to usher in a new era of Satanic glory. The details that give this information away were not accidents. They were deliberately left there because the Satanic Elite are mocking us. I’ll just give a few examples.

George Bush found out that the planes had flown into the World Trade Center while he was visiting a school. Footage exists of him listening to the children reading a story called “The Pet Goat” as he is told that “America is under attack.” This is not a coincidence. The Pet Goat is a symbol of Lucifer. Even the text of the story depicts this particular goat as rebellious and violent. Also, the children in the classroom were mostly black. Seeing the pattern yet? (Bain’s insinuation, not mine!)

One of the many illustrations in this very important and serious book

The school that Bush was in was also close to the flight school where the terrorists had trained and a clown college with links to the Freemasons and the CIA. You think this is a coincidence? Guess again, idiot!

Flight 93, the plane in which the passengers overpowered the terrorists (who were armed with shanks), crashed down in a place called Shanksville. Bill Crowley (yes, CROWLEY!!!) was a Pittsburgh FBI guy who had jurisdiction in Shanksville. Flight 93 too! 93 was one of Aleister Crowley’s favourite numbers. You might brush this off and say that there’s loads of Crowleys out there and that the FBI guy’s name has nothing to do with anything, but Bill wasn’t the only Crowley involved.

Korean Airlines Flight 85 was supposed to land in Alaska on September the 11th, 2001, but because of some miscommunication, it was redirected to the airport in Whitehorse in the Yukon. The air traffic controller at that airport was one Tim Crowley. As if that wasn’t enough, please recall the lyrics to Mr. Crowley, one of the most famous songs about Aleister Crowley:

Mr. Crowley
Won’t you ride my white horse?
Mr. Crowley
It’s symbolic, of course

Ozzy Osbourne 1980

White horse? Whitehorse! The song was written more than 30 years before the events it describes, and the songwriter was at the peak of his legendary drug use, but to me, it seems almost impossible that Ozzy didn’t foresee the Korean pilot of flight 085 misunderstanding the message from the groundstation in Alaska. He is clearly in league with the Illuminati overlords.

Ozzy isn’t the only heavy metaller involved here. Judas Priest’s Some Heads are Gonna Roll forecasts the nuclear bomb that was dropped on Arizona in 2012. Rob Halford was in on it too.

Oh, by the way, if you’re reading that last bit and you’re wondering why you don’t remember the nuclear bomb detonating in Arizona in 2012, that’s because it never happened. Half of this book deals with the attacks of September 11th, 2001, but the other half describes what was supposed to happen in 2012, the year after the book was published. None of this stuff actually happened, but that’s probably only because Bain had predicted it, and the Illuminati backed off. It’s ironic that the subtitle of this work is “The World’s Most Dangerous Book” when it actually saved millions of lives.

There’s a lot more in here that I’m not mentioning. The Skull & Bones Society, the JFK assassination and the Insane Clown Posse all play their part. Did you know that the Statue of Liberty actually depicts Lucifer? This is ridiculous stuff, and trying to refute the claims made in this book would be entirely pointless. It was an entertaining read though.

Milton William Cooper’s Behold A Pale Horse: A Blueprint for the X-Files

WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

The hole in the ozone layer was made by people to let excess heat escape into space. There are colonies on the moon and mars. JFK was killed by his driver because he was going to tell the public about aliens. Whitley Strieber is an agent of the CIA. 600 aliens live with Bo Gritz in Area 51. Tobacco is purposely grown in fields covered in uranium so that more smokers will get cancer. Timothy Leary was an MK ULTRA agent. The Pope made the gas canisters used in German concentration camps.

Oh and the Illuminati run everything, AIDs was invented to kill homosexuals and black people, and the human race is just an alien experiment, but I’m assuming you knew all of that already.

Behold A Pale Horse – Milton William Cooper

Light Technology Publications – 1991

Yes, I finally got around to reading Bill Cooper’s conspiracy classic, Behold A Pale Horse, the book that served as a blueprint for the X-Files. I’ve known of its existence for a long time, but it’s over 500 pages of intense paranoia, and I didn’t want to put myself through it. What I didn’t realise was that it’s not exactly a cohesive work, and you don’t actually have to read every single part of it to get the idea. Much of it is scans of letters, newspaper clippings and bizarre documents.

To try and summarise this book would be pointless. Cooper is so paranoid that he doesn’t really commit to any specific theory. At times he seems confident that there are aliens living on Earth, but then he points out that he might only think that because that’s what the Illuminati want him to think. At one point he claims that the apparition at Fatima was a warning in which aliens showed children a hologram video of the actual crucifixion of Christ. He then ruminates on whether the aliens actually travelled back in time to record the crucifixion or if they just animated it themselves. He then goes on to point out that if they have the power to do either of those things, they may have staged the entire Jesus thing for their own purposes. Trust no-one.

Ultimately, I quite enjoyed Behold A Pale Horse. I also got the names of several other books I’ll be trying to track down in the near future. I assume that those books will also be complete rubbish, and I only hope that they are as sincere as this bizarre masterpiece. I don’t know if it’s the frenzied nature of Cooper’s writing or the knowledge of what happened to him after writing this book that makes his writing captivating.

Pale Horse Rider: William Cooper, the Rise of Conspiracy, and the Fall of Trust in America – Mark Jacobson

Blue Rider Press – 2018

Directly after finishing Behold A Pale Horse, I read Mark Jacobson’s Pale Horse Rider, a book that analyzes Cooper’s life and works. Much of what it covers is contained in Behold A Pale Horse, but it’s reassuring to have somebody sane confirm that Cooper did actually mean the things that you’ve just read in his book.

Pale Horse Rider also covers Cooper’s radio show, his surprisingly powerful following in the hip-hop community, his shockingly accurate prediction of 9/11, and his unfortunate end. William Cooper spent his last months living alone on a mountaintop convinced the police were going to come and kill him. The police eventually came up the mountain and shot him in the head.

One thing that this book briefly mentions about Cooper’s life that is not included in Behold A Pale Horse is the time he spent in a mental institution after returning from Vietnam. He was crazy in the literal sense. He also seems to have been an unpleasant person to be around, an angry, paranoid mad man. I’d say I wish he was still alive, but part of him still is. Alex Jones is basically a poor man’s Bill Cooper, and a lot of the right-wing militia style conspiracists seem to have admired Cooper. Timothy McVeigh came to visit him before bombing Oklahoma. Cooper did include a photocopy of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion in Behold A Pale Horse, and he loved the 2nd amendment, but his politics weren’t as cut-and-dry as many of his ilk today. I’d like to think of him dismissing Q-Anon and Pizzagate as Bilderberg disinformation campaigns to make truth-seekers look stupid. (I mean… that’s what they are, right?)

I recommend reading both Cooper’s own book and Jacobson’s book about Cooper, but if you are a normal person, the latter will probably suffice. It’s very entertaining.

I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been really into conspiracy theories since reading Programmed to Kill and JFK and UFO recently. It’s a field I’ve been avoiding for a few years, but I’m quite enjoying it at the moment. More to come soon!